prom & school dance faqs
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The big dance is coming up and we know you have questions!How to ask your date to the school dance
I found this great article by Cary Wun, a Digital High Freelancer. She talks about the myths of asking someone to the prom and how it has changed. You know, it used to be only guys that asked girls, and now it's a two-way street. And that's good. I wish it was that way when I went to school, because sure enough there was this really great looking guy in my geometry class, but he was too shy to ask anyone, much less me! I would have grabbed him up in a heartbeat!
Anyway, whether it's a guy or a girl popping the question, it's an anxiety producing event. No matter how many times you've done it. Rejection is the worst thing that can happen to a person. That ever-present possibility of the word "no" being used as a response makes even the most secure person titter.
Wun suggests several ways to ask someone to the prom. And most likely the most romantic ideas are the most popular (with the girls, at least), like presenting a bouquet of a dozen roses or less with the verbal invite. She tells the story of what I would call one very romantic high school suitor who had an intricate plan for asking his girlfriend to the prom. "He devised a way to get his girlfriend's first period teacher to lock the class door, make her arrive five minutes late to class, then surprise her by blindfolding her and leading around campus, and finally ending with a quick breakfast [in a] picnic setting."
However, unlike the Don Juan above, you have to consider who you are asking, the stage of your relationship, what you see in the future and more before you go off and send a dozen roses with a friendship ring and a ticket to the prom.
Some things never change. For instance…
Anyway, whether it's a guy or a girl popping the question, it's an anxiety producing event. No matter how many times you've done it. Rejection is the worst thing that can happen to a person. That ever-present possibility of the word "no" being used as a response makes even the most secure person titter.
Wun suggests several ways to ask someone to the prom. And most likely the most romantic ideas are the most popular (with the girls, at least), like presenting a bouquet of a dozen roses or less with the verbal invite. She tells the story of what I would call one very romantic high school suitor who had an intricate plan for asking his girlfriend to the prom. "He devised a way to get his girlfriend's first period teacher to lock the class door, make her arrive five minutes late to class, then surprise her by blindfolding her and leading around campus, and finally ending with a quick breakfast [in a] picnic setting."
However, unlike the Don Juan above, you have to consider who you are asking, the stage of your relationship, what you see in the future and more before you go off and send a dozen roses with a friendship ring and a ticket to the prom.
Some things never change. For instance…
- Don't ask over the phone, by e-mail or through a conduit. This is impersonal and it makes it so easy, so easy, to say, "Nope, don't think so."
- If you are asking, try your best to be romantic. If you are on the other end and the question and ambiance isn't romantic enough, do both of you a favor and make the best of it.
- Be honest, but not too honest. If you can't go because you have another date, because the idea of going with the person who's asking is unbearable or because you have to wash your hair, let the person asking down lightly. As I mentioned previously, rejection isn't easy to handle.
how NOT to ask your date to the school dance
Asking someone out on a date is quite a stressful activity. What if he says no? What if she laughs at me? Now, add in the stress of asking someone to prom (the most important night in the life of a high school student) and it's a wonder that anyone is able to get up the nerve to find a prom date. Well, Party411.com is here to help. We have come up with the top ten ways NOT to ask someone to prom. If you avoid these pitfalls, you may score yourself a hot date!
10. "A bunch of my friends bet me I wouldn't ask you to the prom, so do you want to go?"And, the number one way NOT to ask someone to the prom:
9. "I'd like to take you to prom, but I won't know for sure until I find out if Puffy's trial is over...I just love Court TV!"
8. "Hey I was figuring no one had asked you if you wanted to be his date for the prom, so do you want to go with me?"
7. "They're letting me out of juvy hall for the prom, wanna go?"
6. "Even though I'm on a date with someone else, I saw you from across the room and knew you had to be my prom date! Would you do me the honor?"
5. "I just got dumped, you busy prom night? And, oh, if we get back together I may have to cancel."
4. "Hey, it's getting down to the wire and I don't have a date yet, want to go the prom?"
3. "You may think I'm doing you a favor, but I'd really like to take you to the prom."
2. "It's you or an escort service!"
1. "My mother told me she talked to your mother, and if I take you to the prom I'll get 50 bucks!"So good luck! And remember, Tom Cruise probably got turned down a few times too!
the corsage: wrist or pin?
Most ladies (and I use that word with the deepest respect) would rather have a wrist corsage than one you pin because a pin will sometimes leave a mark on their outfit. Depending on the material, pinning a corsage to tulle, chiffon, satin or other formal wear can be reason for dismay. And there she stands trying not to show it! So when in doubt, a wrist corsage is best. Most ladies also like to match with their dress, so make sure you know her color and flower preferences before ordering!
Most ladies (and I use that word with the deepest respect) would rather have a wrist corsage than one you pin because a pin will sometimes leave a mark on their outfit. Depending on the material, pinning a corsage to tulle, chiffon, satin or other formal wear can be reason for dismay. And there she stands trying not to show it! So when in doubt, a wrist corsage is best. Most ladies also like to match with their dress, so make sure you know her color and flower preferences before ordering!
picking the pre-dance restaurant
Well, it's almost that time, and you're trying to decide where to go for dinner before the school dance. It seems to me that the whole decision is based on who is accompanying you that evening.
How Much to Spend
I mean, if it isn't a serious relationship and this isn't someone you would ever even dream of spending the rest of your life with (much less the school year, which is close to over), you should consider this when choosing where to have dinner. Simply put, don't send mixed signals by demanding outrageous flowers and candlelight dinner.
On the other hand, if it's a "new" relationship and you don't know each other well, you'll want to be considerate of your "date" and do something appropriate. If you are paying or your date has told you money is no object, do what you will. If there are budget limitations, do something different and add a few tweaks here and there to make it memorable. One doesn't have to eat at a 5-star restaurant to have a great time. Romance outweighs an expensive dinner by a long shot.
If you are really serious about each other and have a long-term relationship, you can sit down together and decide where to go and what to spend. You may want to do without dinner and spend your money on something fun for the "after prom."
If you are going with a friend, why not get your other friends together and have a group dinner at a fun place. No one is going to care how expensive it is; they are going to care about how much fun they're going to have. More people, more fun.
By the way, chain restaurants are much more accommodating since the tables are larger, and they are used to serving large groups. Or be less conventional and take a party room at your local fast food restaurant, decorate it and let loose pre-prom!
What to Do Once You Decide
How Much to Spend
I mean, if it isn't a serious relationship and this isn't someone you would ever even dream of spending the rest of your life with (much less the school year, which is close to over), you should consider this when choosing where to have dinner. Simply put, don't send mixed signals by demanding outrageous flowers and candlelight dinner.
On the other hand, if it's a "new" relationship and you don't know each other well, you'll want to be considerate of your "date" and do something appropriate. If you are paying or your date has told you money is no object, do what you will. If there are budget limitations, do something different and add a few tweaks here and there to make it memorable. One doesn't have to eat at a 5-star restaurant to have a great time. Romance outweighs an expensive dinner by a long shot.
If you are really serious about each other and have a long-term relationship, you can sit down together and decide where to go and what to spend. You may want to do without dinner and spend your money on something fun for the "after prom."
If you are going with a friend, why not get your other friends together and have a group dinner at a fun place. No one is going to care how expensive it is; they are going to care about how much fun they're going to have. More people, more fun.
By the way, chain restaurants are much more accommodating since the tables are larger, and they are used to serving large groups. Or be less conventional and take a party room at your local fast food restaurant, decorate it and let loose pre-prom!
What to Do Once You Decide
- Make a reservation. Don't just think you're going to show up and get a table. It just doesn't happen (especially if prom night is a Saturday). Make sure you have plenty of time to have your pictures taken before dinner and be done with dinner before prom. And don't forget to ask for non-smoking!
- Check out payment options. If you're planning to pay by credit card (be it yours, mom's or dad's), make sure they take MasterCard, Visa or Discover (whichever it may be). If you're planning to pay cash, make sure you have plenty just in case you feel like going crazy and ordering that Lobster Larry dish.
- Find out if there is a dress code. If you are going to an expensive restaurant that considers itself "fancy," a tie may be in order. Or an order from the maitre ‘d!
- Bring a bib. I don't know about you, but I never leave meal without a spot somewhere obvious. So, if a bib would embarrass you, make sure you never miss your mouth. On a similar note, beware of wayward poppy seeds, spinach and BBQ sauce. And if you think there's a chance of a good night kiss—steer clear of garlic, onions and hold the Italian dressing!