PoliticalSurveyAnalysis
Putting the Party back into Politics

Well, the Party Girl has done it again! Burning to know which presidential candidate you thought was a party animal before she decided on her vote, she came to you first to hear your opinion. Enough with the apathy and indecision…

The First Annual Party411.com Presidential Preference Poll (FAPPPP) attracted a huge response that took us days to tabulate. And the Party Girl, who can only believe a poll of her own making and taking, is ready to report on the heartbeat of the electorate.

It is obvious that Americans have very particular ideas about the qualities that our next President should have, and this made choosing the "party animal" candidate that much easier (even though more than a third of you thought this wasn't the least bit important).

Nearly half of you ranked the ability to negotiate (like Henry Kissinger) more important than being a good dancer (like our favorite La Vida Loca boy). Of course, we can then surmise that someone who has both talents would be a shoo-in!

And it didn't seem to matter to you that George W. Bush keeps insisting that he is permanently off the bar circuit. You saw through his teetotling to overwhelmingly choose him as the candidate who:

• knows the best drinking games (50%)
• was the most likely by to pledge the drunkest fraternity I Tappa Keg (53%)
• would be the most fun to be stranded with on an island (37%)
• would throw the best White House parties (42%), although Al Gore got 41% of your vote
• is the most qualified to pledge the fraternity I Felta Thigh (35%), but again, Al Gore got 34% of your vote

No doubt it is W.'s skill as a host that also made you prefer him (26%) over Gore (22%), Ralph Nader (22%) and Patrick Buchanan (16%) to replace Kathie Lee Gifford on "Live With Regis."

Thanks to the powers that be, you also saw through Al Gore's prim and proper exterior and got to his hunky inner Chick Magnet personality. You picked him as:

• the best dancer (in spite of a macarena fiasco) (40%)
• best at Karaoke (34%)
• most likely to have a secret life involving a leather bra, a bottle of Absolut®, and a small animal named Skipper (29%)
• and also pledge the Nature Boy fraternity, I Hugga Tree (41%) (where Ralph Nader is a likely fraternity brother)

Most importantly, you ignored media criticism of The Tipper and Al Kiss Extravaganza to choose the Kiss (39%) as having the single greatest positive effect on what you are going to do in the privacy of the polling booth. Thirty-five percent of you also agreed that Al Gore was the most likely of the four candidates to have a sexy secret life and that you'd be lining up to swap spit with Big Al long before you start locking lips with any of the others. Good job!

Poor Ralph Nader and Pat Buchanan. They barely even made the sorriest little blip on our Party411 radar screen. Not surprisingly, Pat Buchanan is most likely to pledge the fraternity I Talkta God (42% of you said so). And, he would be the first one voted off the island (we agree). Based on this poor showing, the Party Girl has some advice for Ralph and Pat: maybe you should consider a sitcom and not politics as your next professional move.

For those of you who are still apathetic, you overwhelmingly believed that watching election results would be best done with someone from Party411 (63%). We can guarantee you'd have a blast.

Thanks to all of you who helped the Party Girl put the Party back into Politics by responding to the FAPPPP! And be sure to see the Party411.com Election Night Party--because Party411 Parties are always the best parties in town!

And in 2004, we'll have our own candidate!

Click here to go to the survey results.

See our 2000 Election Party. You're bound to have fun.