The Etiquette Queen

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COLLEEN CUNNINGHAM asked:

ANY IDEAS ABOUT PLANNING A 20 YEAR CLASS REUNION WITH A THEME OF "WE'RE GOING TO PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999.

The Etiquette Queen says:

I'm passing this to a friend who has done this theme and maybe she can help you

Vanessa Miller asked:

Is it proper for the bride to wear off-white or ivory and the groom to wear white in a wedding?

The Etiquette Queen says:

It's not traditional for the groom to wear white but it's your wedding. The bride can wear white, off-white, ivory or beige.

Kathe asked:

I am a mother of teenagers, 1 boy & 1 girl. when prom time comes how do I know who pays for what? Ex: pictures, tickets, limo, flowers.... Thanks for any help. Kathe

The Etiquette Queen says:

Assuming that no one is rich, the boy usually pays for the flowers, the limo is shared by the boys from many couples, the tickets are paid for by each individual, the pix should be discussed. Any additional expenses should depend upon the couple and their individual financial circumstances.

Kellie Gaver asked:

We are going to an evening (7:30) wedding at a park/country club atmosphere. Can black be worn? Also long or short dress. How about pink and springy? Is it okay to wear a hat and if so is it okay during the ceremony?

The Etiquette Queen says:

The answer to all of the above questions is yes. Remember there really are no rules but one. That is, what do you want to do.

Marie asked:

I have a couple of questions. I'm getting married in August. My mother-in-law to be and I disagree on how the invitations should read. My parents are hosting the both the wedding and reception. It is my understanding that the invitation to the event should be from my parents, without mention of my fiancé's family since they aren't kicking in any funds. Is this correct? Also, we are trying to control our funds for the wedding and have decided to serve only beer, wine and champagne punch (plus some non-alcoholic libations). She perceives this as being cheap -- although not cheap enough to contribute. I realize this is the 90's and most anything goes, but I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing. She is driving me NUTS!

The Etiquette Queen says:

Where is your fiancé in all of this. These are his parents. He should stand up with you on all decisions. The wedding invitations should include the names of both sets of parents. any other party invite has only the names of the host and hostess. My own daughter served beer, wine, champagne and soft drinks. Anyone who doesn't like this is probably not worth your time. And one last thing, no one can drive you crazy, only you can drive yourself crazy. You only have to please 2 people - you and him and in many things only yourself!

Ellen asked:

My daughter's teacher attended her dance recital on Friday night. Is it appropriate to send an email thank you?

The Etiquette Queen says:

Of course, assuming she checks her email regularly. What a nice teacher.

Margaret asked:

We are planning a very small wedding and expecting 60 guests. Many of the guests are from out of town - and don't know each other. They are traveling thousands of miles to celebrate with us. Instead of a traditional rehearsal dinner, we'd like plan a kind of 'open house' or 'welcome to San Francisco' party and invite all the out of towners. My fiancé and I will be paying for it. What should I call the party on the invitation? Should I ask for a reply? If it's an open house, does that mean guests can drop in anytime between the specified times? And, if the event begins at 6p, will guests expect dinner?

The Etiquette Queen says:

Open house means no set time. If you want them at 6pm, tell them so. Also, at that time, if would only be proper to serve some sort of meal. Remember, they are from out of town and don't have a home to go to cook. You could just call it a get-acquainted party. Don't make it harder than you have to. I think it's a nice idea, having been in the position of knowing hardly anyone when attending an out-of-town function.

erin drohan asked:

I am very confused about the proper way to order wine while at a restaurant. I don't want to look like a jackass in front of my friends. The whole process of ordering wine seems trivial, how can I get around it easily? And save face at the same time?

The Etiquette Queen says:

Most people don't know anything either, they just don't admit it. Find something you like on your own and order that when you go out. Meanwhile, if someone has ordered something that looks good, ask if you can have a sip.

mike asked:

My daughter (3)is having a birthday party soon and wants to invite a neighbor boy (2) to her party. Should I also invite his brother (7) and sister (8)?

The Etiquette Queen says:

Definitely not. If you were 7 or 8, would you go to a "baby" party. Not necessary at all

Jane asked:

My niece, nephew, a close friend and I are planning a 50th. wedding anniversary party for my sister and brother-in-law. We would like to have a square dance party and invite the club they belong to, along with family and friends. We would like to have a money tree. Should we have the dance all during the dinner, or after dinner? Should we have a money tree? How should the invitations be worded to include these two items? Should the dance also include other music in between the square dance tips, for people that would rather dance waltzes, foxtrot, jive, or whatever? Thanks for whatever help you can give me.

The Etiquette Queen says:

A square dance is a square dance with appropriate music (square dance music.) But, do include a brief period of time for traditional music to accommodate other people. As for the money tree, I an not familiar with that so I cannot advise you. Write back and explain.

Shanna asked:

Thanks and I am wondering do you have any unique ideas that I can use to steer the attention from the food to another source ? Shanna 

The Etiquette Queen says:

How about games and prizes. Look under the theme section on the home page for some ideas

Cindy Berel asked:

I am sending out invitations for my graduation this May and I was wondering what would be the proper way to address the outer envelopes? For example, do I write: Mr. and Mrs. John and Lisa Doe and then kids names, or shall I just write John and Lisa Doe and family?

The Etiquette Queen says:

You could write The Doe Family or Mr. and Mrs. John Doe and family - have a ball.

Spice Sister asked:

Subject: SPICE PARTY! SPICE PARTY! Someone, please help me. My little sister is having a HUGE party and I need to get the party supplies and favors. I need Spice Girl everything! The problem is, I can't find anything at any stores around. Can someone give me some numbers and/or stores or something that can help me get the party supplies and favors? Please I only have two weeks!

The Etiquette Queen says:

To tell you the truth, I don't think the Spice Girls has been licensed yet to party goods. I'm sorry. Try us again, though.

Leslie asked:

In June my husband will be graduating from Dental school, we will both be celebrating our birthdays and we will be moving across the country (all within the same week)! I want to have a party with friends and family to celebrate all three occasions - do you have any suggestions on how I can tie them all together? I'm also stumped on wording the invitations. Thanks for your help!

The Etiquette Queen says:

Why not have the theme be "Helping us pack", sort of the Tom Sawyer painting the fence theory. Serve comfort stuff, pizza, chips, dip, etc. and keep it casual. Anyone who is getting you a gift could send the present to your new address and bring a picture of it. Try it, should get lots of laughs. Be sure to have plenty of packing material on hand.

Patty asked:

I have seen it 2 different ways. Where is the proper to place the napkin on a formal dinner table. On the left, under the fork, or on the right, under the knife and spoon?

The Etiquette Queen says:

Patty, Patty, Patty - the napkin always! goes on the left unless you are attending a meal from another culture who does it differently. It can also be fancy and go on the serving plate.

Cherie asked:

The holidays always seem to be very stressful. My husband and I invited to many places to celebrate. However, we would just like to stay home with our children. When we turn down an invitation for dinner with our families. We are given many guilt trips. How do you gracefully turn someone down without hurting their feelings. Because after all it was a very nice gesture and a lot of work to put on a dinner for the whole family. We want our children to know that their home is where the we celebrate the holidays. Some holidays we have spent in a car driving from house to house visiting and don't really enjoy our day together as a family. Please help!

The Etiquette Queen says:

Lots of families have this problem. You don't want to hurt feelings but you want your own traditions in your home. Try this, rotate different holidays with different family members with everyone going one place. After all, the idea is to be together. When you want some "alone" time, don't be afraid to tell. They love you and will understand, as long as you don't do it every time.

Steve asked:

I have worked for the same company for 25 years and have been vice president for the last 8 years. My boss and I have had a close relationship and consider each other friends. We are only a year apart in age. Most of our social contact has been in the work context with the exception of some special events to which my wife and I were invited. We are planning a "no special reason" party at our home and I would like to invite my boss and his wife. Our question is whether this is proper etiquette as we have never been invited to their home for a social occasion.

The Etiquette Queen says:

Steve, no it is not improper to invite your boss to your home for a party. In fact, this is a nice gesture on your part...telling him that not only do you respect him as your superior but as your friend. Do it.

Kim asked:

My husband and I are approaching our 30th wedding anniversary. We took a cruise for our 25th. Typically, is there a party for the 30th wedding anniversary or should we just wait until our 50th? Also, I am told that the anniversary couple should host and pay for the 50th anniversary party and that the children should (hopefully) assist with making all the arrangements like the catering, centerpieces, etc. Is that true? What about the 30th? BTW - I love this site.. your tips are great and I am using the baby pictures game you suggested at a shower I am giving soon. Keep up the good work!

The Etiquette Queen says:

Typically, 30th is not a year that is celebrated like 25 and 50. But you know what? Where is it written you can't celebrate? I'd do it. As far as who pays for the 50th anniversary (I think you're planning pretty far in advance, but that's okay), we coordinate these for families on an on-going basis, and usually whoever is hosting the party pays for it...not the parents. On the other hand, we have had situations where the children cannot afford it, and the parents step in.

Lynette asked:

My hubby-to-be and I are throwing ourselves a cocktail party to celebrate our engagement. It's on a Saturday at 7 PM. The invitations state "cocktails and hors d'ourvres". Will people automatically know to get dressed up? Because it is being catered in our home, I'm wearing a full length beaded gown and he'll sport the tux he owns. Will our guests feel out of place if we 'dress?'

The Etiquette Queen says:

That's a hard one. Usually when something is hosted at someone's home, the dress is casual to dressy casual. On the other hand, cocktail parties are usually a bit dressier, and most women/men know that. However, you sound a tad overdressed. Then again, you can follow the etiqueen rule: if you feel comfortable, and you look good, who cares what everyone else is wearing!! It's your night.

Cherie Donohoo asked:

My next door neighbors have brought to my husband's attention that I have been unfriendly to them. They say I have supposedly looked away when they have waved or said hello. This is so far from the truth. I haven't been avoiding them. In the winter time, I'm not in the yard much and don't socialize with the neighbors. I feel that I have done nothing out of the ordinary. I don't want to be best friends with my neighbors. But, I don't want them to think of me as a stuck-up snob either. Over the years, we have had our differences. I don't wish them any harm. But, I want to have a long dragged out conversation every time I'm in my yard either. The fact that this was brought to my husband's attention is irritating to me? Should I be doing anything? Or leave well enough alone? Please respond.

The Etiquette Queen says:

I understand not wanting to get involved too closely with neighbors because when something like this happens, there you are--next door to them. Leave well enough alone. Stay to yourself; say hello, wave hello even better... if you want to keep it just a "neighborly" thing and not a friendship--leave well enough alone. But stand your ground. There's no law about having to like your neighbors!

lauren asked:

I'm having a sweet sixteen and I would like to have a candle ceremony. Can you please tell me what the proper order is. Thank you

The Etiquette Queen says:

There is no proper order per se. What most kids do is call up their closest relatives last, their friends and schoolmates, first. So, Mom and Dad are last, brothers/sisters second to last, grandparents--3rd to last and so on and so forth. Have a happy birthday.

Terry asked:

We are giving our new neighbors a "shievery" have you heard of this before? Anyway; I remember when I was just a little girl, that my parents took us kids to these and it was a lot of fun. Now that I'm older and my mind isn't like it use to, can you give me some ideas on what would be a good time to allow all the guest to arrive quietly and is there anything else I need to know besides bringing things to bang and make noise with. For example; Would you advice us to raid their fridge or should we bring food and the whole works. Thanks!

The Etiquette Queen says:

I don't know what a shievery is...sorry. I even tried to track it down on the internet and got nowhere. However, I wouldn't rely on "raiding" anyone's fridge. If you raided mine, all you would find is dog food! Let me in on this!

Carolann asked:

My husband just received a "pre-invitation" (Please keep such-and-such a date open, invitation to follow) for our granddaughter's Bat Mitzvah. We are not Jewish and have never gone to a Bat Mitzvah. What should we wear? What kind of gift and how expensive? We could ask our daughter-in-law, as she would be completely understanding; however, I would rather not seem so naive. Thank you.

The Etiquette Queen says:

The usual gift today is money (the kids like that the best, as you can imagine). The average gift from a non-relative runs between $25 and $50; you would have to decide from there. As far as what to wear, it totally depends on what type of party they are having; in fact, most bat/bar mitzvah invitations include dress on the bottom of the invite itself. Some are casual receptions while others are as formal as black tie. It wouldn't be at all "naive" to ask her what type of party she is planning in terms of casual, dressy casual or formal. Mazel Tov!

susan asked:

My daughter will be sixteen soon and her father and I were thinking about giving her a sweet sixteen party. Can you fill us in on the details of such a party. Is there a ceremony involved? Thanks. Susan

The Etiquette Queen says:

The sweet sixteen parties that are being held today are similar to a bat mitzvah... DJ, novelties/party favors, Saturday night dinner, etc. Some people are doing a candle lighting ceremony, where your daughter would call up 16 people (or groups of people) that have influenced her in her first 16 years and they would like a candle in her honor. But, bottom line, it's no different than a fancy birthday party!

Beverly asked:

My fiancé and I are planning a housewarming party which is a guise for a surprise wedding. Any suggestions on how to decorate without giving away the secret?

The Etiquette Queen says:

Congratulations...that's a tough one. Weddings are usually decorated with all white ribbons and bows; lacy stuff and things like that. If you aren't staying traditional, you could decorate the house with balloons (balloons are considered both elegant and fun these days). Hire a balloon company to come in and fill the house with festive balloons and ribbons. If I were there assisting you, I would have some signage around (for example, at the front door, something that said "Be careful...don't damage our threshold" and wedding type sayings that people will not "get" until they figure everything out. Is there a party planner you can contact in your area?

Patricia asked:

My daughter's Girl Scout troop is having a Victorian High Tea and we would like to know if there are any special etiquette lessons we need to teach them before the tea. They are 9 and 10 years old.

The Etiquette Queen says:

Patricia, you know what? I'm not sure. On the other hand, there are lessons in etiquette (whether or not it's a tea or other event). For instance, that they should be put their napkin on their lap as soon as they are seated--things like that. Perhaps this information will help you educate the girls... Afternoon Tea in England Tea mania swept across England as it had earlier spread throughout France and Holland. Tea importation rose from 40,000 pounds in 1699 to an annual average of 240,000 pounds by 1708. Tea was drunk by all levels of society. Prior to the introduction of tea into Britain, the English had two main meals-breakfast and dinner. Breakfast was ale, bread and beef. Dinner was a long, massive meal at the end of the day. It was no wonder that Anna, the Duchess of Bedford (1788-1861) experienced a "sinking feeling" in the late afternoon. Adopting the European tea service format, she invited friends to join her for an additional afternoon meal at five o'clock in her rooms at Belvoir Castle. The menu centered around small cakes, bread and butter sandwiches, assorted sweets, and, of course, tea. This summer practice proved so popular, the Duchess continued it when she returned to London, sending cards to her friends asking them to join her for "tea and a walking the fields." (London at that time still contained large open meadows within the city.) The practice of inviting friends to come for tea in the afternoon was quickly picked up by other social hostesses. A common pattern of service soon merged. The first pot of tea was made in the kitchen and carried to the lady of the house who waited with her invited guests, surrounded by fine porcelain from China. The first pot was warmed by the hostess from a second pot (usually silver) that was kept heated over a small flame. Food and tea was then passed among the guests, the main purpose of the visiting being conversation. Tea Cuisine Tea cuisine quickly expanded in range to quickly include wafer thin crustless sandwiches, shrimp or fish pates, toasted breads with jams, and regional British pastries such as scones (Scottish) and crumpets (English). At this time two distinct forms of tea services evolved: "High" and "Low". "Low" Tea (served in the low part of the afternoon) was served in aristocratic homes of the wealthy and featured gourmet tidbits rather than solid meals. The emphasis was on presentation and conversation. "High" Tea or "Meat Tea" was the main or "High" meal of the day. It was the major meal of the middle and lower classes and consisted of mostly full dinner items such as roast beef, mashed potatoes, peas, and of course, tea.

Ann asked:

New neighbors have asked our 6 year old son to be the ring bearer at their wedding. Thinking we would help them out (we barely know them), we said yes. The bride said they would fix up our son with a tuxedo just like the grooms. We thought that they would be paying for the rental of same and have now found out that they expect us to pay. They asked our son as they "needed a ring bearer and didn't have anyone else they could ask." Should we be paying for the tux ? They also want to borrow two of our daughters to hand out bubbles for guests to blow instead of throwing confetti. Suggestions?

The Etiquette Queen says:

I don't know your financial situation, but it is common for the family of the ring bearer to provide his outfit. On the other hand, you are not close friends with these people, so it is a lot of nerve to ask your to dress up your two daughters and son for their wedding. If you are feeling "benevolent," I would do it (I'm assuming you are also invited). If you go back to them now and say that it is too expensive a proposition, you chance upsetting a neighbor you have to "live with." The only other suggestion I might have is to go out of town that weekend and not get involved.

c asked:

Is it rude to have people remove their shoes upon entering my home? If not, what is the best way to ask them? Perhaps with a lovely little sign?

The Etiquette Queen says:

A lovely little sign would be nice, and even better if it was a poem or something cute. Or even an embroidered framed piece. Friends do understand.

Amanda asked:

Hello, I need some information on manners, and etiquette. It is for a presentation I am doing for one of my courses. Please help me. Thank you for your time!!

The Etiquette Queen says:

Amanda, I would love to help but need to know a little more information. Exactly what is your subject...I understand it is etiquette...but in reference to what??! Let me know.

Anonymous asked:

Not long ago, I received a phone call from an acquaintances' sister asking if I would help with a 25th wedding anniversary party. The lady on the phone went on and on about needing my help in the planning of this party. I must say I was shocked at being asked, as we are not really friends, however, not as shocked as I was (after agreeing to lend my services) when she said it would cost me between $75.00 & $100.00. We ride motorcycles in the same group as the anniversary couple, however, we have never socialized with them otherwise. They have the money to afford a wonderful party without asking for help and have rented an Alumni House at a local college. And from the way I understand it, they are hosting the party themselves. Should I offer my services (I have planned many beautiful weddings & parties) and request that I not be asked to share in the expense or should I just bow out gracefully? And if I do share in the expense should I buy the couple a gift? H! ! elp! Please! Thanks in advance

The Etiquette Queen says:

I would say that you bow out gracefully. This, unfortunately, is a "no win" for you. Being in this business, I am constantly asked to, as my friends say when they admonish me, "give it away for free!" Not only is she asking for your help but she is also asking you to donate to a party for people you barely know (or at least it sounds that way). My feeling is, though, that if you bow out, you shouldn't attend (say you are going to be out of town--which is the only graceful way to get out of this at this point). And thus, no gift. Bowing out and still attending would be awkward, I believe.

Brooke asked:

I am to meet a Catholic Bishop in Mexico to discuss some humanitarian work that I will be doing in the area, what is the appropriate protocol to follow when meeting a Catholic Bishop?

The Etiquette Queen says:

Frankly, Brooke, I don't know. If I were you, I would contact a local Catholic church and ask them. I guess if I were in that situation I would nod and say, "I'm honored." That's about it. But who knows?

Patricia asked:

I am planning for our son's Bar Mitzvah. We no longer live in the same city as our relatives. Question, Who pays for the out of town guests hotel bill? By the way, your web site is great.

The Etiquette Queen says:

Thank you for the compliment, Patricia. The out of town guests pay for themselves usually. There is always the exception (a family member who does not have the money, a mother or mother-in-law); but most family members and friends are expected to take care of this expense. After all, they know a celebration such as this is expensive. Don't worry about it for a moment! You may want to put welcome baskets or gifts in their rooms to thank them for coming. Your friends can make these for you or you can buy them. Let me know if you need additional help.

Julie asked:

I have always believed that the tip of your belt, after having slipped it through the belt hoops, should be facing the same direction as the flap over the zipper of your pants. Does that make sense? Is the same true for males? My fiancé says it doesn't matter, it depends on whether you are right or left-handed. JD p.s. I know in actuality it does not matter, however, I wanted to know if that rule is somewhere and I have a dinner riding on it.

The Etiquette Queen says:

There is no rule, sorry. And if there is, the belt police have been slouching. Because I checked around my office, and people have their belts going every which way. Sorry about the dinner!

Lisa asked:

My father is retiring later this month, and we feel that we should do something special for this special man. My mother is suggesting middle priced restaurants because she is afraid my sister and our husbands cannot afford a nice restaurant. We were surprised by this response as we thought she may have offered to buy the dinner. What is the proper etiquette on retirement parties in terms of who should pay. Should our mother pay for dinner for my sister, myself, and our husbands, or is this something that should be equally split. Thanks for your input.

The Etiquette Queen says:

As far as I am concerned, it should be paid for by whoever hosts it. So, if your mother wants to be part of it (and she should), she should pay her share. Otherwise, on the invitation, you would list just your names and your sister's. Will your mom understand if you approach her to put in 1/3 of the cost?

Deborah asked:

We are in the planning stage for our parent's 50th Anniversary. We question when the toast is given, before or after the meal? Also, we are not church attending folks, is it a must that a blessing take place?

The Etiquette Queen says:

First of all, if you are not comfortable with it, no blessing is necessary. In fact, we do 5-6 parties per week, and very rarely is there a blessing. As far as the toasts, do it between dinner and dessert. That allows time for the dinner dishes to be cleared away and dessert to be served while the toasts are going on.

Vicky asked:

Even though my significant other and I are a heterosexual couple with a lifelong commitment, we are not planning on getting married religiously or legally (our own choice). Our relatives don't seem to know if they should include both of us in invitations or address us as a couple, etc., so it's been suggested that we host a "commitment" reception or something as a way of announcing and celebrating our relationship with our family and friends. What do you think of this idea? Have you ever heard of anyone doing this before? How would one go about planning such an event in a way so as not to confuse friends and relatives? I would not be looking to host a huge reception minus the marriage (and the point of this is NOT to receive gifts), more like a get-together with some kind of alternative ceremony minus the minister/priest/rabbi and the license. Part of me thinks this idea would be ill-received and I shouldn't even try it. The other part of me says that I have ! every right to invent my own tradition and with the right wording in the invitations, I could pull it off. Any comments or suggestions would be very welcome.

The Etiquette Queen says:

Well, Vicky, you've come to the right place! I agree with you 100 percent... if you want to do this, you should and not worry about what people will say. When I turned 35, I married a blow-up doll because I have made the choice to stay single until I'm at least 70 (when I know I won't have to put up with him for too long)... Anyway, although non-traditional...doing it in a fun way and celebrating your relationship is a) fine; b) a chance to entertain; and c) a way to tell people you are indeed a couple and intend to stay that way! I wish you the best of luck. Happy Holidays.

shelly lopez asked:

could you please supply me with a diagram of the proper placement for a table. i.e. where their forks and spoons and knives go. thank you.

The Etiquette Queen says:

It depends on if you are doing a formal dinner party or setting the table for a casual affair. The first fork you use, goes to the left. First a fork for the appetizer, then a salad fork, then a dinner fork...then the plate, of course!...then your dinner knife, soup spoon, teaspoon. You can put an additional teaspoon above the plate if you will need it for dessert.

amy asked:

I hosted a Home Interiors (In home sales party). Do I send thank you notes to the guests or should that be up to the salesperson?

The Etiquette Queen says:

It should be up to the salesperson. But on the other hand, if you got something out of it and your guests know it...it couldn't hurt. It never hurts to be over-polite--only to be impolite. Hope it was fun.

Catherine asked:

I received a formal invitation to attend my friend's daughter's debutante ball. I'm not familiar with all the debutante protocol. Do I send a gift? Congratulations note?

The Etiquette Queen says:

Normally, a gift is given in honor of someone "coming out..." I would say that it depends on how close your are with the young lady as to whether or not your send a gift or a congratulatory note. On the other hand, I would make a donation in her name to a local charity--which truly takes care of both problems.

Dorothy asked:

My sister has just been flooded out of her home in Texas. Would it be appropriate to give her a "Flood Shower" She has lost everything except her two children.

The Etiquette Queen says:

Absolutely. Do it. People want to help, I am sure. There is no right or wrong in a situation like this.

Melissa asked:

A law firm I do business with is planning a large seminar for a weekend. Spouses are invited with activities planned for them while the employees are attending conferences. However, the lady planning the event has said that married couples only are invited. This leaves out many employees. Should she invite single employees with their significant others (many are living with someone or engaged in long term relationships)? Many of the employees are divorced or single. Thank you.

The Etiquette Queen says:

I am with you 100 percent. She shouldn't classify people as "married" and unmarried. If two people are living together, then they "have" a significant other. Anyone who has a significant other should have an invitation extended to the conference. End of story. Bottom line.

Judy asked:

For a come and go house warming party is it good etiquette to ask for rsvp?

The Etiquette Queen says:

Judy, Judy! Of course you can ask for an RSVP, otherwise how will you know how much food to order??! So, feel comfortable asking for an RSVP. And you deserve it, too.

Teena asked:

Would it be appropriate to charge guests admission to my parents 25th wedding anniversary, if we were to hold it in a hall. If so how much do we charge to cover some of the costs of the function.

The Etiquette Queen says:

Well, Teena, I don't think charging admission is the right thing to do. If you would like to ask several relatives, etc., to help you pay for it, that's probably a better idea. But to charge "admission" would insult people. And I know you wouldn't want to do that. If you had it in a restaurant, you might get away with "separate checks will be provided..." so maybe that's something you should consider.

Carla asked:

My prom is coming up and I wanted to know if I have to talk to my date about the corsage. Should he already know, or do I have to remind him about it?

The Etiquette Queen says:

Carla, Carla! There's nothing wrong with reminding him, but do it in a way that he doesn't know. Like tell him the color of your dress so that when he orders the corsage it matches...or let him know that you want a wrist corsage vs. a pin-on. That way, it doesn't seem like you're in his face about it. Have a really great time!

Trish asked:

Just exactly what does RSVP mean?

The Etiquette Queen says:

It's French for respond if you please...