The
Etiquette Queen
Showers, Baby &
Bridal
Ask your questions of the Etiquette Queen now.
You may even see your question and answer posted in the space below.
Nate asked:
Is it tacky to hold a baby shower after the baby is born?
The Etiquette Queen says:
Absolutely not. In fact, I would like to see more of this. After the birth, the guests will know the gender, size, number, etc. of the baby and will be able to better decide what to bring.
Laurie asked:
Who gives the bridal shower on the grooms side?
The Etiquette Queen says:
There are a lot of factors here. Who would like to give one? Who is available, does he have sisters, a mother, aunts? A shower is given by people who care from either side.
Jane asked:
Is it traditional for the mother-to-be guest of honor to give the hostess of the baby shower a gift? If so, what can you suggest?
The Etiquette Queen says:
No, you needn't give a gift. But you should send personal notes to the hostess/es.
Mother-to-be asked:
My question is how do I tell my mother that my feelings are hurt. She asked
if anyone had said anything about having a baby shower for me and then turns
around and says she would give me one but she didn't think that it was
appropriate for the mother to do it. My sister just had a baby a year ago and
my mother and I hosted it. How do I let her know that it isn't wrong for her
to throw it, but obviously I don't want her to have any participation in it
other than coming at this point??
The Etiquette Queen says:
First of all, I'm sure you mom didn't mean to hurt your feelings and I see
why they are hurt. But she is your mother and you have to deal with her for a
long time. You may have overreacted because of hormones. Why isn't your sister
involved? Turnabout is fair play. Talk to your sister and don't let something
like this ruin this experience.
Rayna asked:
You're invited to a baby shower. Is
okay to bring your 7 month old
infant?
The Etiquette Queen says:
Not usually, unless the hostess expressly says so. The problem is that as
cute as the baby is, it will be a distraction for the hostess and take away
from the mom-to-be. Get a sitter.
Rebecca asked:
I'm hosting a lingerie shower for my niece, who is 20. How far our from the
wedding date should we have the shower and who should be on the guest list. My
niece isn't sure if she wants her mother or grandmother there. Should they be?
The Etiquette Queen says:
As far as the guests go, you could limit it to the bridal party and young
friends. Since it is a lingerie shower, the risqué factor is high and I'm sure
that mom and grandma won't mind.
Ariane asked:
I am attending a bridal shower. The person giving the shower did not
include a theme on the invitation. Is it appropriate to ask if there is one?
Should I bring the host and the bride-to-be a gift? And, can you recommend a
gift for the bride-to-be? (She has been living with her soon-to-be husband for
over a year and they already have a child together.)
The Etiquette Queen says:
There is not usually a theme so don't worry about it. Find out where the
couple is registered and choose something from that. You do not bring a gift
to the host.
Melissa asked:
My sister-in-law has recently announced that she is pregnant and due to
have her baby sometime in September. She has no sisters. Her cousin was her
maid of honor at her wedding. First, who would be the appropriate person to
throw the baby shower. Second, when is the appropriate time to throw a baby
shower?
The Etiquette Queen says:
The appropriate person is anyone who would like to do it. There are no
rules as to who would host. The best time for a shower is about 6 weeks before
the baby is born. It gives the mom-to-be time to get organized and it's close
to birth.
Teresa asked:
Is it appropriate to let someone have you a baby shower. This is my 4th
child, unplanned. It has been 7 years since I have had a child. I do still
have onesies, blankets and a few dresses. Could I put a little note in the
card asking people not to bring these things because I have more than enough.
The Etiquette Queen says:
You never tell people not to give you something unless you want them to
give you nothing. If you get something you don't want, you can return it or
exchange it. A great way to find out where it cam from is to rave so much you
"just have to know where she found it".
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Showers, Baby & Bridal.
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